old man goes to a wedding

Let's talk about a few of my darling dears ailments after two nights of some friendly beverages, staying up way past kiddie bedtime, and not being able to sleep late due to old age. Hmmm....
Can't stop pooping
Or groaning.
major vacation stomach.
Emergent purchase of execedrine at overpriced airport kiosk
Stated he missed being away from his own toilet paper.
Morning oj gave him heartburn.
Continues to mildly grunt and sigh followed by a yawn.
Refused coffee upon waking and asked for water (have you met Brett?)
Expressed various body aches.
Reporting legs and feet are sore from walking too much in dress shoes (or was it his professional dance moves? Unknown...)
Continuous eye rubbing
Unable to finish burger at lunch because "there's no more room"

I love my little spring chicken. Whens the next wedding?

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